My First Half-Marathon

This weekend I ran my first half-marathon and it was SO MUCH FUN! Now here is a little recap:

If you have been following my Instagram account for a while you know a couple things about me: 1) I LOVE to run 2) I ALWAYS get injured running. So when I spontaneously signed up for a half marathon 5 and a half weeks ago (when I was only running 3 times a week for like 3 miles each time), I set some pretty achievable goals (for me).

GOAL 1: Finish the race without injury.

GOAL 2: Finish the race without walking.

GOAL 3: Finish the race in 2 hours 10 minutes.

Now before I say how I did with those goals (although, TBH, you probably already saw how I did on Instagram), I have to say this thing was exciting for me. I have tried training for a half about once per year for the last 7 years… each time ended with injury.

I will admit, I made A LOT of mistakes in that time. And I truly believe that some of those injuries were for the best- I had a lot of unhealthy habits/ mindsets around undereating and over exercising that a bad injury snapped me out of and lead to the adoption of the healthy, balanced lifestyle I maintain now.

Okay, enough of the serious stuff, back to how it went! With the help of my incredible physical therapist (who is the reason I came back from running after a year of being plagued with injuries), I accomplished goal 1.

I came up with a pretty great expedited training plan to accomplish Goal 2. The mantra being “Slow and steady finishes the race.” And I am proud to say, I did not have to walk at all.

Now for Goal 3 (you should know I have a big ole grin as I type this), I sort of blew that time out of the water. I know I set a goal time that was really achievable for me, I trained by running between 9:30 and 9:45 pace. But I had no intention of breaking 2 hours.

Then the race started and I felt this unbelievable adrenaline rush. Seeing all these people getting out and running for the sake of accomplishing a goal or just staying active is so beautiful to me. Then to see everyone cheering for their family and friends along the course gave me this unparalleled energy. Before I knew it, I was not just on pace to break 2 hours, I was on pace to break an average 9 min/mile pace.

I ended up finishing in 1:55:53. The happy high I felt throughout and after the race made it one of my favorite experiences. I cannot wait to get out there and do it again!

Thank you to the Phoenix Marathon for the best first race experience I could have asked for, I already plan on signing up next year!

Moral of the story (because I love those)- sometimes the odds get stacked against you, but that does not mean you need to give up.

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Moral of the story #2: my boyfriend, though awesomely supportive, is not great at action shots and therefore I have no presentable shots from the race… but I am not the prettiest runner so that is probably for the best.

 

 

Setting Priorities and Enjoying Vacation

This will probably be a part 1 of 2 thing… BUT here it goes!

In three days I leave for a cruise to Mexico. In order to prepare, I have admittedly been eating less processed foods and working out a bit more than I had been a month ago. I was just trying to peak on my confidence in a bikini. I wanted to be as “firm” as I could when I went on vacation. And this thought has me torn. Do I not think I look good enough in a bikini now? Is it some crime against humanity to have a little meat on my bones? Why did I instantly think “vacation- oh better slim up”?

I don’t think there is anything wrong with what I was doing physically (If you want to eat a little healthier to firm up a bit before a beach vacation then great- just don’t kill yourself doing it), it was more of the mental pressure I was putting on myself. I hit a breaking point when I went bathing suit shopping and all the bathing suits didn’t cover any of my butt and pinched at fat I didn’t want to believe I had (seriously though, why is the bathing suit trend to have 75% of your ass hanging out? I don’t get it…) and I started crying. In a target dressing room. Definitely not my proudest moment. 

So I called my boyfriend that night and let it all out. I said I hated that nothing fit and that I work so hard and my hard work just doesn’t show. I said I was dreading getting in the bikini and that I had initially wanted to get a “cute poolside bikini picture” but now that was out of the question. And here is what he told me: “Do you think Beyonce or J Lo fit in those itty bitty size bikinis?! Do you think they can get just any old pair of jeans or bathing suit bottoms? They are not the smallest women, yet they have some of the best bodies in the world! They have fat and muscle and look AMAZING! And so do you. Plus who says you have to be an extra small or a small to wear a bikini?! Just go up a size! You look incredible and you are healthy.” My rebuttal was that he was right, I just wished my size was more muscle and less fat. 

Less fat for this vacation. Looking firmer for a picture. Becoming “bikini ready”. And now I am sitting here thinking, “who the heck am I trying to impress?! Am I trying to get an effing swimwear modeling contract on this boat?!” Uh no…

So now I am re-evaluating and putting things in perspective. I have fat, but really nothing even close to excessive… just a healthy amount. I am also happier than I have ever been. I also am going on this vacation to have fun with my boyfriend, who thinks I look great in a bathing suit. And why did I want a poolside picture? To post on Facebook/ instagram- BUT WHO THE HELL AM I TRYING TO IMPRESS ON SOCIAL MEDIA?! Nobody. That’s who. I need to not focus on impressing others and just focus on having a great time.

The only reason I want pictures now is to remember this amazing weekend. And if I post them awesome! If I don’t who cares?! I am happy, in love, and going on a cruise with my favorite person… that’s a whole lot more important than having a poolside pic that shows off a six pack (that I most likely will never have-but I am cool with my tummy as is it because it isn’t half bad).

NOW WITH THAT BEING SAID, this is how I plan to enjoy my vacation:

Phone off and away

Working out ONLY if I want to

Eating what I feel like (without over-doing it- no tummy aches from over-eating!)

Enjoying poolside drinks

Dancing my heart out at night

Putting away school work 

Not giving a flying f*ck what anyone else thinks (except my boyfriend, but he loves and supports anything that makes me happy- so I don’t need to worry about that)

ROCKING THE HELL OUT OF THE BIKINI BECAUSE I SAY SO AND NOT BECAUSE I FIT SOMEONE ELSE’S STANDARDS

Life is meant for LIVING.

“Don’t exist.
Live.
Get out, explore.
Thrive.
Challenge authority. Challenge yourself.
Evolve.
Change forever.
Become who you say you always will. Keep moving. Don’t stop. Start the revolution. Become a freedom fighter. Become a superhero. Just because everyone doesn’t know your name doesn’t mean you dont matter.
Are you happy? Have you ever been happy? What have you done today to matter? Did you exist or did you live? How did you thrive?
Become a chameleon-fit in anywhere. Be a rockstar-stand out everywhere. Do nothing, do everything. Forget everything, remember everyone. Care, don’t just pretend to. Listen to everyone. Love everyone and nothing at the same time. Its impossible to be everything,but you can’t stop trying to do it all. Make this moment your reckoning. Your head has been held under water for too long and now it is time to rise up and take your first true breath.” -Brian Krans
I have done some incredible things in my life. I have been to more countries than I have states, which has resulted in endless adventures. I have sky dived, cliff dived, been on a canyon swing, climbed Mayan Pyramids, and even swam in the Blue Grotto!
This past summer I backpacked through Germany, Austria, Belgium, and Spain- an experience that SHOULD HAVE topped them all. I don’t want to live my life with regret and though there are a few things I have done that I am not proud of, I also feel I learned a lot from them. My back packing experience, however, is probably my greatest regret.
I saw some of the most incredible cities and sites but I did not care- I let my anxiety take over my trip and I severely diminished the experience for both myself and (for the real reason I regret how I treated the trip) my brother. Even if part of the experience involved bad luck, I can not deny that the real problem was my bad attitude.
The previous summer I studied in Florence, Italy and had the best six weeks of my life. I had a very anxiety filled year leading up to that experience, but I still allowed myself to let loose and enjoy every moment of my trip. The attitude I upheld during my study abroad experience is the one I will carry with on all my travels from here on out. I want to live, experience, and thrive.
Life is too short to hold back and be bitter. There is so much to see and learn in this world and you simply will put a hindrance on living if you let a negative attitude determine your outlook. Smile and experience all that you can! Take risks, be bold, travel, and try to discover all you can about yourself and the world around you because chances are, you will like what you find!
And a quick montage of my travels the past few years (I don’t have many pictures from my back packing trip because my camera broke on the third day):
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Affirmations

This is literally something I wrote to myself this morning when I looked in the mirror and didn’t like what I saw:

I have gained weight.

I could definitely be skinnier.

I big part of me wants to cut back on calories to get smaller.

I find myself not fitting into most of my smallest sizes.

I am scared.

BUT, this is a process.

I am beginning to adjust to this new body.

I have more muscle than ever.

I have a bountiful booty. (okay, maybe not bountiful, but I do have a booty)

I have boobs again.

I get to go and eat at my favorite restaurants.

My social anxiety is disappearing.

I am more confident.

I have more self-love days than self hate.

I smile more.

My hair is thicker.

I don’t have bags under my eyes.

I cry less.

My smiles are real.

I don’t get psychotic mood swing triggered by meaningless little things.

I am more alert.

My relationships have improved.

I am more open.

I feel like me again.

At this point I got up, walked back over to the mirror, and saw the same girl as I did before I wrote this. She is bigger than she was last year. She may never fit into those little jeans she bought when she was 14 again. But this time, instead of frowning at this new girl—I smiled because I was finally smiling at me again. I was proud of what I saw, even if I am still getting used to the new view.

 

I am sorry if I am beginning to sound like a broken record in my posts, but this is my open, honest journey. 🙂